Emotional Labour
Emotional labour is the unseen work of managing everyone's feelings, needs and emotional comfort, on top of the practical tasks of running a family.
It is anticipating a meltdown before it happens, smoothing over moods, remembering who needs reassurance, keeping the peace, and being the family's emotional thermostat. Like the mental load, it is invisible, constant, and usually falls on one person.
It is genuinely tiring work, even though it never appears on any list and rarely gets named or shared. Naming it is the first step to sharing it.
Common questions
What is emotional labour?
Emotional labour is the unseen work of managing everyone's feelings, needs and emotional comfort in a family, such as anticipating meltdowns, smoothing moods and keeping the peace, on top of the practical tasks.
How is emotional labour different from the mental load?
The mental load is remembering and planning practical things; emotional labour is managing feelings and emotional harmony. They overlap, and both are invisible and usually fall on one person.